Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Crackpots, Kooks and Deader Than A Doornail - Some Redneck Thangs

I tell ya what....

Everythang's goin' to hell in a handbasket.

Lookit everythang goin' on in this hear country:

Them there crackpots all over. Yew won't find them in these hear parts. But they's crackpots. Deemocrats, queers, bums, single fellers and gals, women who think they got a head on they shoulders, dopers, fellers who ain't behind the guns, people who ain't married by the time they 18....they's a lotta crackpots out there.

If you a crackpot and you ain't a redneck, or you ain't behind the redneck, you ain't werth shit.

They's a lot a kooks out there. Them there weird fellers. I hear they's fellers that wear dresses. And hold other fellers hands while walkin' down the street.

If you a kook, you ain't werth shit.

My lands a livin'. Them there whackos just plum stupid. I swan. I ain't never seen none a them weirdos in these hear parts.

Just tried to get my car to start. That there battery's deader than a doornail.

I reckon you best stay in redneck parts if you a true American. If you ain't a redneck, you ain't worth shit.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

The Youtube Web Series
A Dixie Film

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Them There Whores....and Legal Whores Too - From WOODY THE REDNECK

Let me tell y'all about them there whores.

They's whores in this hear country.

You got whores. And you got legal whores.

If you gotta pay a gal to put your thang in her, you ain't werth shit.

I been married to my big ole gal a long time. She take good care a me. Make me 3 square a day. Take care a my little ones. Let me put my thang in her every once in a while...when she feel like it. And I ain't gotta pay her nuthin'. All's I do is just give her my paycheck every week.

If you a whore....or you gotta pay a whore....you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Watch the brand new episode from the shocking satire web series WOODY THE REDNECK:

The Web Series
THEM THERE WHORES - Episode # 11
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film

Thursday, February 7, 2013

What Women Are Good Fer - From Woody the Redneck

Let me tell you what them there women are good fer....

WHAT WOMEN GOOD FOR - Episode # 10
Woody the Redneck - The Web Series
Based off the Award-Winning Hit Short Film
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film

Women put me in a whirl. They put any feller in a whirl.

That girl'll be my ruin.

No. I wouldn't put you on. But it really did. It happened just this here way.

I'm Woody the Redneck, y'all.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Guns, Moochin' and Bein' Fat - A Few Redneck Thangs

I'm Woody the Redneck.

If you ain't a redneck....or you ain't behind a redneck...or you ain't behind redneck livin'...you ain't worth shit.

Take a few redneck thangs....Guns, moochin, and bein' fat.

We rednecks all behind the gun. You don't take guns outta these hear redneck parts. Every good true redneck got a shotgun or two hangin' in their truck. If you don't hang guns in your truck, you ain't worth shit.

If you a moocher...you ain't worth shit. Take these fellers hangin' round the general store lookin' fer a handout. Fellers moochin' cigarettes. Bums moochin' food. Family moochin' money. Kin moochin' a place to lay their head and sleep at night. No roof a they own over their heads. I hate them there moochers. If you ain't on your own by the time you 18....you ain't worth shit.

Let's talk 'bout bein' fat. Bein' fat a good thang. My Ma and Pa always brought me up you eat 3 square a day. You don't leave nothin' on your plate. My kin always been brought up that you ain't healthy unless you fat. Bein' fat a good thang. Being fat is natural. Bein' fat is healthy. Bein' fat's American. These hear little fat kids...they a spittin' image a their parents. You wanna be just like your Ma and Pa. Just like your Grandpappy. Your kin your role model. Us here, we in this here country live in a nation a fat. If you ain't fat...if you skinny as a crow.....you ain't American. You ain't worth shit.

Guns, moochin' and bein' fat. A few good redneck thangs.

A little satire never never hurt no one neithers.

I'm Woody the Redneck, y'all....

Own the Award - Winning Hit Mockumentary Short Film
On DVD at:

The Web Series on Youtube
Based off the hit Short Film
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film