I'm Woody the Redneck.
If you ain't a redneck....or you ain't behind a redneck...or you ain't behind redneck livin'...you ain't worth shit.
Take a few redneck thangs....Guns, moochin, and bein' fat.
We rednecks all behind the gun. You don't take guns outta these hear redneck parts. Every good true redneck got a shotgun or two hangin' in their truck. If you don't hang guns in your truck, you ain't worth shit.
If you a moocher...you ain't worth shit. Take these fellers hangin' round the general store lookin' fer a handout. Fellers moochin' cigarettes. Bums moochin' food. Family moochin' money. Kin moochin' a place to lay their head and sleep at night. No roof a they own over their heads. I hate them there moochers. If you ain't on your own by the time you 18....you ain't worth shit.
Let's talk 'bout bein' fat. Bein' fat a good thang. My Ma and Pa always brought me up you eat 3 square a day. You don't leave nothin' on your plate. My kin always been brought up that you ain't healthy unless you fat. Bein' fat a good thang. Being fat is natural. Bein' fat is healthy. Bein' fat's American. These hear little fat kids...they a spittin' image a their parents. You wanna be just like your Ma and Pa. Just like your Grandpappy. Your kin your role model. Us here, we in this here country live in a nation a fat. If you ain't fat...if you skinny as a crow.....you ain't American. You ain't worth shit.
Guns, moochin' and bein' fat. A few good redneck thangs.
A little satire never never hurt no one neithers.
I'm Woody the Redneck, y'all....
Own the Award - Winning Hit Mockumentary Short Film
WOODY THE REDNECK
On DVD at:
WOODY THE REDNECK
The Web Series on Youtube
Based off the hit Short Film
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film