I'm Woody the redneck, y'all.
Let me tell yew 'bout dem dere ugly women.
You got dem hot gals 'n yew got dem ugly dogs. Now take dem hot ladies. Dey just like my wife. She a big 'ole gal. Bigger than a whale. Close near 400 pounds. You get a gal with a lotta meat on her bones, that there's good, hot eating.
Now them there ugly women. They ugly as a mud fence. Them there dogs 'r as skinny as a rail. Skinny as a crow. My buddy Everett 'n me went to the hole in the wall to warsh done a beer or two, and saw this here gal half naked. Looked like a scarecrow she was so skinny. I tell you. Them there skinny women. They couldn't give a hard on to a rapist.
I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.
Watch the pilot episode of the brand new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Blip TV: