WOODY THE REDNECK at Sundance 2013

 

Woody the Redneck



I tell you what....

I been here on this Main Street fer a few days. And these hear movie star fellers walk, talk 'n act like they got a corn cob stuck up their asshole.

They call this hear thang Sundance. After a few days I can't figger it out. Ain't seen no one dancin'. Figgered they'd all be dancin' on the street under this here sun.

And you talk about all these hear diff'rnt types on these streets. Blacks. Chinks. Diegos. Fellers walkin' 'round holdin' other fellers hands. I saw one feller with a dress on. All kinds round these hear parts. And gals speakin' they mind....you wouldn't catch these types in these parts back in my part a the woods in the boonies. I figgered I'd see more fellers like me up here in the mountains.

Some diff'rent fellers down the street at a place in a motel on this here Main Street at a movie place they call Slamdance. They got all kinds a fellers here. But at least they got some good 'uns fer movies. Saw this here picture show called THE DIRTIES. Didn't know what wuz so dirty 'bout it. Fellers with guns. My kinda fellers. Purty good target practice they wuz takin'.

I don't know bout these here snooty snoots in this town and walkin' on the street. I don't like seein' fellers with a corn cob up their ass. Makes me miss home.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

 

 

Woody the Redneck

The Web Series

DENTISTS & A TOOLBOX

Starring Jack Truman as Woody

 

Based off the award-winning hit short film

 

A Dixie Film



Hello, Sundance Film Festival 2013: Woody the Redneck Here

Hey there, y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

Well, I'm here in what they call this Park City place. It cold here. Up in the mountains. I don't see what all the fuss is 'bout. No rednecks here.

I'll be walking down this here street they call Main Street fer the next 5 days. Don't look the same here. Got a winter beard and look like that feller they call Grizzly Adams.

This thang here they call Sundance. I don't see no sun dancin'.

That thang up the road called Slamdance that start tomorrow. Lookin' forward to seein' y'all slammin' up again you selves when you dancin'.

This here place better get ready fer a redneck. I gonna raise all kinds a hell.

I'm Woody the Redneck, y'all. At what these here fellers call the 2013 Sundance Film Festival.

 

 

 

WOODY THE REDNECK

The Web Series

Based off the award-winning hit short film

Written, Directed by and Starring

Jack Truman as Woody

A Dixie Film



That There Honey Boo Boo

 

I tell you what. That there Honey Boo Boo a good ole kid.

Her parents ain't too shabby neithers. I tell ya. You got a redneck family, you American. You got redneck kids, you American. You into guns, confederate flags, god, bein' white, a big ole family and bein' fat, you American.

That there Honey Boo Boo and her kin show this country redneck the way to be.

Honey Boo Boo. I tell you what. She look and act just like my little 6 year old.

You got redneck kids. You American. You a redneck. You American.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

 

 

WOODY THE REDNECK

The Web Series

Based off the award-winning hit short film

Written, Directed by and Starring

Jack Truman as Woody

A Dixie Film



Grandpappy Turnin' Over in His Grave

If my grandpappy saw how this here country wuz nowadays, he'd turn over in his grave.

Damn. My lands a livin'. Golly bum. I swan. Yew can't tell me that redneck livin' back in the old days wuz better than the way thangs are now.

Yew just take what you see when you out fer a afternoon drive in yew pickup truck. The thangs that are drivin' or walkin' smack dab in the middle of the road. I wouldn't touch them thangs with a stick.

If yew like how thangs are in this here country, yew ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

WOODY THE REDNECK - The Original Web Series

Episode: GOD, RELIGION & CHURCH

Starring Jack Truman as Woody

A Dixie Film



WOODY THE REDNECK - Tomorrow in Birmingham!!!!

Tomorrow is the Alabama premiere of the hit new shocking short film WOODY THE REDNECK!!!!

WOODY THE REDNECK will be screening tomorrow in Birmingham at the Sidewalk Film Festival. The 8 minute mockumentary short film about a racist conserative redneck is exploding on the film festival circuit worldwide.

Tomorrow's screening at Sidewalk will be a part of the Dual Shorts Program at 2 p.m.

Here's the link:

WOODY THE REDNECK at Sidewalk, August 25th

Woody the Redneck
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film

Watch this week's new episode of the shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK:

Redneck Pledge of Allegiance

Redneck livin' the way to go. Redneck's Christian. Redneck's God - lovin'. Redneck's American red white 'n blue. If you ain't redneck, you ain't american. You ain't werth shit.

Take that there pledge allegiance. I wuz in the shower tryin' to member the pledge allegiance. No wunder I couldn't member it. That wuz way back in grade school.

Long time ago.

Lez see if I can member it....

I pledge 'legiance to that there confederate flag of the united states of america. And to dem dere republicans, that there confederate flag stands. One nation, over and under God and the devil. Undisputable. With white liberty, and church lovin' power fer all.

I reckin it goes somethin' like that.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

WOODY THE REDNECK
A Dixie Production
Starring Jack Truman as Woody

Them There Politic Fellers

Them there politic fellers....I tell you what. They sound like they got mouths fulla sh*t.

You got republicans 'n deemocrats. Dey all sound the same to me. But at least dem 'publicans ain't got no queers or communists or foreigners. Damn. Pitiful.

Let me tell you 'bout dem dere politic fellers.

Them there politic fellers talk like fellers with a paper asshole. They run they mouths. Run 'em like a clock. Oughta just turn them there mouths off with flippin' a switch.

If you like listenin' to them there politic fellers....if you like them talkin' with a paper asshole and runnin' they mouths like a clock...you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Woody the Redneck
A Dixie Production
Starring Jack Truman as Woody

God, Religion & Church

We had this feller walk into our church the other day. That 'ole hippy. Had a sheet over him. Feller looked all barefoot with them there flip flops on. Had these hear red dots on his hands 'n wrists. Look like blood or somethin'....drippin' on our floor messin' our church floor up. And had somethin' on his head. Look like a birds nest.

Watch Episode #2 of the new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Youtube, titled GOD, RELIGION & CHURCH:

Woody the Redneck - The Original Web Series
Based off the new hit short film
A Dixie Film

Smells Like a Bird Sh*t in Her Mouth

Hey there y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

Damn. I tell you. Shit fire. I woke up this mornin' and went to give my wife a kiss 'fore I got up outta bed. And her breath stank so bad. It smelled like a bird shit in her mouth.

That bad breath kin really draw you in. It draws you in like flies on a turd.

I'm Woody the redneck.

Ugly Women - Couldn't Give a Hard On....

I'm Woody the redneck, y'all.

Let me tell yew 'bout dem dere ugly women.

You got dem hot gals 'n yew got dem ugly dogs. Now take dem hot ladies. Dey just like my wife. She a big 'ole gal. Bigger than a whale. Close near 400 pounds. You get a gal with a lotta meat on her bones, that there's good, hot eating.

Now them there ugly women. They ugly as a mud fence. Them there dogs 'r as skinny as a rail. Skinny as a crow. My buddy Everett 'n me went to the hole in the wall to warsh done a beer or two, and saw this here gal half naked. Looked like a scarecrow she was so skinny. I tell you. Them there skinny women. They couldn't give a hard on to a rapist.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

Watch the pilot episode of the brand new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Blip TV:

http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck/woody-the-redneck-3-squares-a-day-the-pilot-episode-season-1-6277253

A Bird in the Hand

My grandpappy always told me a bird in the hand is werth more than 2 in a bush.

You got that there right. All you fellers out there. If you don't thank a bird in the hand is werth more dan 2 in a bush...you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

Deader Than a Doornail

I tried to start my pickup truck today in front a' my trailer out here. That battery's deader than a doornail.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.