Redneck Snoring and Them There Guns

You talk about redneck snoring.

My wife snores real good. Last night, I got in bed...and my 'ole lady wuz sawin' logs. You a redneck, you know that's good snorin'.

All this here talkin' bout guns. Law better not try to take my guns away. You don't take guns away from a redneck. Redneck livin'...loaded guns in the house, huntin', teachin' your little ones how to shoot....beatin' the crap outta yer kid if they touch a gun in the house....that redneck livin'. That American livin'. If yew ain't got guns in yer house....if yew ain't got guns hangin' in your pickup truck....you ain't American. You ain't worth shit.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

THEM THERE QUEERS - Episode # 8

Woody the Redneck - The Web Series

Based off the award winning hit short film

Starring Jack Truman as Woody 

A Dixie Film

WOODY THE REDNECK at Sundance 2013

 

Woody the Redneck



I tell you what....

I been here on this Main Street fer a few days. And these hear movie star fellers walk, talk 'n act like they got a corn cob stuck up their asshole.

They call this hear thang Sundance. After a few days I can't figger it out. Ain't seen no one dancin'. Figgered they'd all be dancin' on the street under this here sun.

And you talk about all these hear diff'rnt types on these streets. Blacks. Chinks. Diegos. Fellers walkin' 'round holdin' other fellers hands. I saw one feller with a dress on. All kinds round these hear parts. And gals speakin' they mind....you wouldn't catch these types in these parts back in my part a the woods in the boonies. I figgered I'd see more fellers like me up here in the mountains.

Some diff'rent fellers down the street at a place in a motel on this here Main Street at a movie place they call Slamdance. They got all kinds a fellers here. But at least they got some good 'uns fer movies. Saw this here picture show called THE DIRTIES. Didn't know what wuz so dirty 'bout it. Fellers with guns. My kinda fellers. Purty good target practice they wuz takin'.

I don't know bout these here snooty snoots in this town and walkin' on the street. I don't like seein' fellers with a corn cob up their ass. Makes me miss home.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

 

 

Woody the Redneck

The Web Series

DENTISTS & A TOOLBOX

Starring Jack Truman as Woody

 

Based off the award-winning hit short film

 

A Dixie Film



Hello, Sundance Film Festival 2013: Woody the Redneck Here

Hey there, y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

Well, I'm here in what they call this Park City place. It cold here. Up in the mountains. I don't see what all the fuss is 'bout. No rednecks here.

I'll be walking down this here street they call Main Street fer the next 5 days. Don't look the same here. Got a winter beard and look like that feller they call Grizzly Adams.

This thang here they call Sundance. I don't see no sun dancin'.

That thang up the road called Slamdance that start tomorrow. Lookin' forward to seein' y'all slammin' up again you selves when you dancin'.

This here place better get ready fer a redneck. I gonna raise all kinds a hell.

I'm Woody the Redneck, y'all. At what these here fellers call the 2013 Sundance Film Festival.

 

 

 

WOODY THE REDNECK

The Web Series

Based off the award-winning hit short film

Written, Directed by and Starring

Jack Truman as Woody

A Dixie Film



That There Honey Boo Boo

 

I tell you what. That there Honey Boo Boo a good ole kid.

Her parents ain't too shabby neithers. I tell ya. You got a redneck family, you American. You got redneck kids, you American. You into guns, confederate flags, god, bein' white, a big ole family and bein' fat, you American.

That there Honey Boo Boo and her kin show this country redneck the way to be.

Honey Boo Boo. I tell you what. She look and act just like my little 6 year old.

You got redneck kids. You American. You a redneck. You American.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

 

 

WOODY THE REDNECK

The Web Series

Based off the award-winning hit short film

Written, Directed by and Starring

Jack Truman as Woody

A Dixie Film



God, Religion & Church

We had this feller walk into our church the other day. That 'ole hippy. Had a sheet over him. Feller looked all barefoot with them there flip flops on. Had these hear red dots on his hands 'n wrists. Look like blood or somethin'....drippin' on our floor messin' our church floor up. And had somethin' on his head. Look like a birds nest.

Watch Episode #2 of the new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Youtube, titled GOD, RELIGION & CHURCH:

Woody the Redneck - The Original Web Series
Based off the new hit short film
A Dixie Film

Smells Like a Bird Sh*t in Her Mouth

Hey there y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

Damn. I tell you. Shit fire. I woke up this mornin' and went to give my wife a kiss 'fore I got up outta bed. And her breath stank so bad. It smelled like a bird shit in her mouth.

That bad breath kin really draw you in. It draws you in like flies on a turd.

I'm Woody the redneck.