Ugly Women - Couldn't Give a Hard On....

I'm Woody the redneck, y'all.

Let me tell yew 'bout dem dere ugly women.

You got dem hot gals 'n yew got dem ugly dogs. Now take dem hot ladies. Dey just like my wife. She a big 'ole gal. Bigger than a whale. Close near 400 pounds. You get a gal with a lotta meat on her bones, that there's good, hot eating.

Now them there ugly women. They ugly as a mud fence. Them there dogs 'r as skinny as a rail. Skinny as a crow. My buddy Everett 'n me went to the hole in the wall to warsh done a beer or two, and saw this here gal half naked. Looked like a scarecrow she was so skinny. I tell you. Them there skinny women. They couldn't give a hard on to a rapist.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

Watch the pilot episode of the brand new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Blip TV:

http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck/woody-the-redneck-3-squares-a-day-the-pilot-episode-season-1-6277253

Happy as a Pig in Shit

Hey there, y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

I reckon I 'bout as happy as I kin be. Confederate flags. White people. Church. Country and woods. Trailers. No whores or queers. Married with kids and got a job. I reckon I 'bout as happy as a pig in shit.

You can't get much happier than that.

I'm Woody the redneck.

Woody the Redneck - 3 SQUARES A DAY - Web Series - The Pilot Episode

WOODY THE REDNECK talks about how eatin' 3 square meals a day is true livin'....

The pilot episode for the brand new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK! Check out the pilot episode on Blip TV:

http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck/woody-the-redneck-3-squares-a-day-the-pilot-episode-season-1-6277253


WOODY THE REDNECK - The Web Series on Blip TV:

http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck

A Bird in the Hand

My grandpappy always told me a bird in the hand is werth more than 2 in a bush.

You got that there right. All you fellers out there. If you don't thank a bird in the hand is werth more dan 2 in a bush...you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

My Backyard Outhouse

I got an outhouse in my backyard. You can't beat a good poop or a pee while hearin' them there roosters next door.

Don't git why a feller would poop and pee in their house. That ain't health. That nasty.

If you ain' got no outhouse in yer backyard, you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

Deader Than a Doornail

I tried to start my pickup truck today in front a' my trailer out here. That battery's deader than a doornail.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.