Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Tootin' My Own Horn - Redneck Words of Wisdom from Woody



I like to toot my own horn, y'all.

I think dem dere city slickers afraid to toot their own horn.

If you don't toot yer own horn, yew ain't werth sh*t.

It's dry as a bone out here in da boonies. Glad we got our own kind 'round here. Redneck livin' way to go. You don't see no other kind 'round dese here parts. And don't you think you will neithers.

If yew we'll see diff'rent types...we'll just see about that. And don't you think we won't neither.

Yew a smart feller if yew white, got a pickup truck, live in trailer in the woods, married to a big ole gal with kids runnin' round barefoot in the yard, got a job, go to church and protect your kind.

If yew ain't a redneck, yew ain't smart. Yew ain't werth shit.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Dentists and a Toolbox
The new episode from
WOODY THE REDNECK - The Original Web Series
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Grandpappy Turnin' Over in His Grave



If my grandpappy saw how this here country wuz nowadays, he'd turn over in his grave.

Damn. My lands a livin'. Golly bum. I swan. Yew can't tell me that redneck livin' back in the old days wuz better than the way thangs are now.

Yew just take what you see when you out fer a afternoon drive in yew pickup truck. The thangs that are drivin' or walkin' smack dab in the middle of the road. I wouldn't touch them thangs with a stick.

If yew like how thangs are in this here country, yew ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

WOODY THE REDNECK - The Original Web Series
Episode: GOD, RELIGION & CHURCH
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film


Saturday, August 25, 2012

DENTISTS AND A TOOLBOX - Woody the Redneck



Woody speaks his mind about Dentists!!!!!!!!!

Don't have a dentist? That's okay. See what shocking redneck solutions Woody has for you!!!!

WOODY THE REDNECK is the new shocking mockumentary satire web series about a middle aged racist conservative redneck in the boonies. Based off the new hit mockumentary short film, Woody is sure to shock, offend and entertain!!!

WOODY THE REDNECK - The Original Web Series - Episode # 5  - DENTISTS AND A TOOLBOX

Starring Jack Truman as Woody
Check out Woody on:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Woody-the-Redneck/447138981987432
Twitter: http://twitter.com/woodytheredneck
Woody's Blog: http://redneckwoody.blogspot.com/
Blip TV: http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck
Funny or Die: http://www.funnyordie.com/woodytheredneck
Woody the Redneck on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2151362/

Woody the Redneck: The Web Series
A Dixie Film
Open Your Eyes

DENTISTS AND A TOOLBOX - Woody the Redneck - Episode #5 on Youtube:

Friday, August 24, 2012

WOODY THE REDNECK - Tomorrow in Birmingham!!!!


Tomorrow is the Alabama premiere of the hit new shocking short film WOODY THE REDNECK!!!!

WOODY THE REDNECK will be screening tomorrow in Birmingham at the Sidewalk Film Festival. The 8 minute mockumentary short film about a racist conserative redneck is exploding on the film festival circuit worldwide.

Tomorrow's screening at Sidewalk will be a part of the Dual Shorts Program at 2 p.m.

Here's the link:

WOODY THE REDNECK at Sidewalk, August 25th

Woody the Redneck
Starring Jack Truman as Woody
A Dixie Film

Watch this week's new episode of the shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK:



Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Birds of a Feather.... Redneck Talk from Woody

Them there birds of a feather. They flock together. A bird in a hand is werth more than 2 in a bush.

I tell yew....redneck talk is livin'. Redneck talk is American.

If yew don't talk redneck. Yew ain't werth shit.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

DEEMOCRATS & REPUBICANS - Woody Talks Politics

Woody talks politics!

Woody talks Politics!!!!
From Republicans to Deemocrats, church, religion, drugs, gays, family values....you name it. Woody talks it!!!!!
WOODY THE REDNECK is the new shocking mockumentary satire web series about a middle aged racist conservative redneck in the boonies. Based off the new hit shocking short film, Woody is sure to shock, offend and entertain!!!

WOODY THE REDNECK - The Original Web Series - Episode #4 - DEEMOCRATS & REPUBLICANS

Starring Jack Truman as Woody

Check out Woody on:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Woody-the-Redneck/447138981987432
Twitter: http://twitter.com/woodytheredneck
Woody's Blog: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2151362/
Blip TV: http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck
Funny or Die: http://www.funnyordie.com/woodytheredneck
Woody the Redneck on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2151362/

Woody the Redneck: The Web Series
A Dixie Film

Watch the new episode WOODY THE REDNECK - REPUBLICANS & DEEMOCRATS on Blip TV:

http://blip.tv/woodytheredneck/deemocrats-republicans-woody-the-redneck-episode-4-6311211

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Redneck Pledge of Allegiance



Redneck livin' the way to go. Redneck's Christian. Redneck's God - lovin'. Redneck's American red white 'n blue. If you ain't redneck, you ain't american. You ain't werth shit.

Take that there pledge allegiance. I wuz in the shower tryin' to member the pledge allegiance. No wunder I couldn't member it. That wuz way back in grade school.

Long time ago.

Lez see if I can member it....

I pledge 'legiance to that there confederate flag of the united states of america. And to dem dere republicans, that there confederate flag stands. One nation, over and under God and the devil. Undisputable. With white liberty, and church lovin' power fer all.

I reckin it goes somethin' like that.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

WOODY THE REDNECK
A Dixie Production
Starring Jack Truman as Woody

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Them There Politic Fellers

Them there politic fellers....I tell you what. They sound like they got mouths fulla sh*t.

You got republicans 'n deemocrats. Dey all sound the same to me. But at least dem 'publicans ain't got no queers or communists or foreigners. Damn. Pitiful.

Let me tell you 'bout dem dere politic fellers.

Them there politic fellers talk like fellers with a paper asshole. They run they mouths. Run 'em like a clock. Oughta just turn them there mouths off with flippin' a switch.

If you like listenin' to them there politic fellers....if you like them talkin' with a paper asshole and runnin' they mouths like a clock...you ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody the Redneck.


Woody the Redneck
A Dixie Production
Starring Jack Truman as Woody

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Bird Huntin', Givin' My Dawg a Break With Some Peanut Butter

If you ain't a redneck, you ain't American. Yew ain't werth sh*t.

Take bird huntin'. When I go out bird huntin' with my good 'ole bird dog Rex, he a good ole dawg. We take a break out there in the woods 'n I give him a treat. I let him lick my thang. It's easy. You wanna know how to git yer dawg to lick yer thang? Just put a little peanut butter on it.

I put a little peanut butter on my thang when we out there in the woods, and 'ole Rex goes to town lappin' that thang up like gravy on mashed taters.

Yew ain't got a dawg that kin lick yer thang, yew ain't werth sh*t.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Them There Hershey Squirts

I tell you wat. Ain't nothin' much better than a good poop.

Whenever I out in my backyard takin' a dump in my outhouse, them there Hershey squirts smell good 'n strong.

Anybody out there don't like the smell 'a hershey squirts kin kiss my bowels.

If you don't like to smell ur hershey squirts....you ain't werth shit.

I'm Woody the Redneck.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Woody the Redneck - CONFEDERATE FLAGS


Let me tell you 'bout them there confederate flags. Them confederate flags a good thang. I got a confederate flag in my pickup truck. I fly them confederate flags high 'n proud. Hell...I even got one flyin' high 'n proud right over my outhouse. You got them confederate flags. Dem confed'rate flags a good thang.

If you don't like them confederate flags....you ain't worth sh*t.

I'm Woody. I'm a redneck.

Watch the shocking new episode WOODY THE REDNECK - CONFEDERATE FLAGS from the new web series! Based off the hit short film!



Woody the Redneck
A Dixie Film

Starring Jack Truman as Woody

Saturday, August 4, 2012

God, Religion & Church

We had this feller walk into our church the other day. That 'ole hippy. Had a sheet over him. Feller looked all barefoot with them there flip flops on. Had these hear red dots on his hands 'n wrists. Look like blood or somethin'....drippin' on our floor messin' our church floor up. And had somethin' on his head. Look like a birds nest.

Watch Episode #2 of the new shocking web series WOODY THE REDNECK on Youtube, titled GOD, RELIGION & CHURCH:


Woody the Redneck - The Original Web Series
Based off the new hit short film
A Dixie Film

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Smells Like a Bird Sh*t in Her Mouth


Hey there y'all. My name's Woody. I'm a redneck.

Damn. I tell you. Shit fire. I woke up this mornin' and went to give my wife a kiss 'fore I got up outta bed. And her breath stank so bad. It smelled like a bird shit in her mouth.

That bad breath kin really draw you in. It draws you in like flies on a turd.

I'm Woody the redneck.